You know what you need? A land shark. Yup, that's right. A land shark.
I stumbled upon this Etsy shop last night, while browsing just for fun. I don't know how many times I've read the description of this cool creature, but it cracks me up every time.
If you're in dire need of some unbelievable critters, head on over to the Perfect Children Etsy shop and browse around. Say hello to Crusher and the Big White Grr while you're there.